Human beings are interwoven and interconnected at a cellular level. We are bonded in every experience and every moment. That connection is unbreakable and absolute. When things happen to others, they are happening to us. We can’t get away from how intertwined we are.
I’ve always known this and, I’m aware that I have a very special gift. In knowing and accepting that I am each and every other and each and every other is me, I’m hyper present to each person I encounter’s experience of life. From that presence I share all that is felt.
Today, I’m sharing my experience in this world as an highly sensitive empath.
An Empath is another term for clairsentient. An estimated 2-4% of the population is clairsentient and about 15-20% of those 2-4% are categorized a Highly Sensitive Person. Being clairsentient means that you are able to relate to how other people are feeling. Being a highly sensitive empath means you actually, physically and emotionally FEEL how others feel.
It is the human tendency, unless we do the work to shift perspective, to internally resonate at the frequency of our struggles, our hardship, and our pain, regret, disconnect and sadness. We internalize these negative feelings for fear of being rejected, abandoned or misunderstood. We believe that our connection to eachother can be broken and, if we express the negative, we will be alone.
I used to think I had a curse.
I’d find myself avoiding intimacy and putting up a powerful, impenetrable shield between myself and everyone I came in contact with. Not because I didn’t want to be with people, quite the opposite, in fact.
At an intuitive level I understood that it was necessary that I allow the connection I experience.
Without understanding my sensitivities, however, I hid to avoid how powerfully I felt human suffering.
At that time, I believed my experience of the world and people was torture. Everywhere I went, I felt everyone’s suffering. I felt the bruises of a beaten wife. I felt the insecurities of a man who fought off his sensitive nature. I felt the worry of a child working to understand school work and please her parents with good grades. I felt the depression of a person jobless and in deep debt. I felt the agony of a parent who’s child was a addict. I felt the loss of a woman who lost her husband.
And not just one at a time.
I felt all of it together, all day, all of the time.
I was so scared to feel that much suffering that I completely shut down.
It is clear that everything I have done in my life to this point has brought me to the place I am now. I was a professional performer, putting on a show in front of large audiences for years. In every one of those performances, I got the opportunity to give an audience pleasure. In every one of those moments they got to suspend their pain and enjoy themselves.
In every one of those moments, I got a break. I got to take deep breathes, release my shield and experience their happiness.
I chose to move to New York City in the summer of 2006.
I didn’t know it then, but that was when I chose to be who I truly am.
A person as sensitive as I am on mass transit is absolute insanity if this gift isn’t channeled.
Over the course of the next few years I became increasingly depressed. I cried myself to sleep every night. I had several episodes of blackout on the subway and I developed a very severe eating disorder.
I was unable to shield anymore. I had placed myself in an environment where I came in contact with thousands of people and innumerable feelings, all at once, EVERY day. I was allowing pain and suffering to strangle me, weaken my heart and make me want my time here on earth to be over and done with.
And the overwhelming feeling I felt (that was actually my own) was loneliness.
I had put up so many walls and tried to construct so many barriers that who I truly am was locked away and very much alone amongst SO MUCH CONNECTION.
It was when I made the choice to regard my sensitivities as a gift that my life dramatically shifted. I began seeking out information about this gift and learning techniques to open up and allow feelings to come to me and, instead of absorbing and taking them on as my own, I learned to allow them to pass through me.
I was no longer a conductor, increasing the pain and suffering.
I became a carrier solution.
I started allowing what others felt to move through me, dissolve, weaken and dissipate.
When I truly harnessed my gift, I found myself becoming the inspiration for others to choose their positive focus and shift their perception.
That’s where I find myself today.
My gift is a superpower.
It allows others to feel heard and accepted and to have ease in what they are dealing with so it seems possible to manage.
It allows healing and each to experience himself or herself as the graceful, powerful and immensely loving and connected human they are.
I designed Project: Love, Me when I saw that my shift in perspective created an opening for me to truly and open heartedly FEEL.
I saw that allowing myself to WANT to be as sensitive as I am gave me the ability to encourage, honor and nurture positive and loving feelings and realities for other.
That realization was when I got my purpose.
I got how important it is for me to love and care for myself and make sure I was skilled in my abilities because I’m here to make a powerful impact in healing the world.
Project: Love, Me is a space for me to share insight and wisdom to support each of you to open your hearts and express how you feel.
It is a space to share what it takes to stand on your own two feet and demand the love and support that is your right as a human.
I say that because my gift has me aware of how necessary that is.
It is our right to be seen.
Deep down we all get that we have that right. What we don’t get it that we do not have to accept anything less. Each of us is no more than a mirror of the next. Whomever you want to see and honor you, wants exactly that in return.
In demanding that for yourself, you give others the opportunity to make those demands for themselves.
It DOES start with you.
Getting clear on what you want and demanding it for yourself and your life has all that isn’t what you want fall away.
When those unwantables fall away, a crater is left to be filled with your desires. You become a dissolver of the negative and a conductor of the positive.
And when you realize that for yourself, you get to pay it forward too.
So, how do you do that?
These 6 guidelines are absolutely everything you need to have that shift.
1. Get that where you are is exactly where you’re supposed to be (be grateful for that).
2. Love your body. Shower it with compliments. Learn how strong and sexy it is.
3. Always do what you truly want to do. The clearest indication you’re doing what you want to do = Life Is Fun. If you’re not having fun, change your atmosphere, your company and your need to please. This is YOUR life.
4. Be open hearted and share EVERYTHING. It connects you to those who get you and has those who don’t get you get out of your way.
5. Take in, absorb, feed off of and invite all that serves and enlivens you.
6. Trust yourself, your heart and your soul. Trust your thoughts, your feelings, your desires and your questions. Trust every last, ever expanding drop of YOU.
Six behavior changes seems minimal. Believe me, it isn’t. You have to be seriously committed to each of these ideals to breakthrough and remove the obstacles in the way of you realizing your own self worth.
And, there’s no time like the present to get started.